Frustration

I wanted (needed) to share some food related frustrations.

My Father lives with us.  I grew up hearing stories that my Maternal Grandfather used to say he would rather cloth my father (when my parents were dating) then feed him.  I have learned the hard way what that means.

He binge eats.  He hides what he eats.  Nothing is sacred, nothing can be made to last.  Everything is for him only.  He actually has said how am I supposed to eat all this food....as if no one else lives here.  He has given away bags of food in the past too.

My DD gave me a huge box of Belgian chocolates for Valentines Day.  Not something that I would ever buy for myself, and certainly not something that I would eat in one sitting (or even one month)  When I saw that the contents were going way down (and I had only had two) I threw out the box at the studio and hid the candies in a Ziploc bag.    There were 50 chocolates.  I ate 4.  They are now all gone (DD wanted one and when I went to the hiding place discovered them gone) In my silly brain, these candies should have lasted for 3 or 4 months.  I just asked him if he ate them, and he laughs and says that's why they were there.

Today I did a long overdue shopping trip.  Milk, lots of yogurts, fresh cod, frozen shrimp, goldfish crackers, egg whites, baby wipes, 10 pounds of potatoes, celery, tomatoes, iceburg lettuce, herb spring mix, eggplant cutlets, carrots, and a treat of 9 bagels.  After coupons I spent $129.81.   Yes the shrimp was a splurge too.

There are 3 bagels left.  DH had one, daughter had one, I had one.  Pops ate 3.  This was after he had a bowl of oatmeal covered in maple syrup.  His breakfast bowl is what most of us consider a pyrex MIXING bowl. He also had some leftover stew today for lunch, and for dinner he had Cod, Corn, Rice and tossed salad.

To me, those bagels should have lasted for a few days.  At this rate they will be all gone by tomorrow.

Yes, it's only $3.99.  Yes I can buy more bagels.  Yes, I can afford to buy myself expensive chocolates.  I am just giving you two examples of things that happen every day.  My father sees  food and he has to eat it before it goes bad.  He doesn't consider that there are other people that I provide this food for, and that my wallet is not a bottomless pit.  I would be more patient if he didn't do it with a smug grin on his face.   Sometimes I get so angry at his selfish greed.  There are times he truly doesn't remember he has eaten.  But there are times he is very aware of what he's doing.  I pray for patience.