I became POA when my Aunt was coming out of spinal surgery followed by infection, cepsis, Covid, compressed spinal cord injury and metastatic cancer. She is not having a good year.
Social Worker advised us to start Title 19 (aka Medicaid) paperwork. Aunt put a wrench in the works a few times. Don't do this, Don't do that. Stop asking. I don't believe you that I have to sell the house. Pay a lawyer money to tell her exactly what I was already telling her.
She has a vehicle with a loan. She won't be able to drive anymore. We ask does she want me to return to dealer, keep paying for it out of her funds or can daughter who just moved back to CT purchase it. I would do whatever she wanted. She wanted DD to have it. So daughter pays off car loan, 8k. Pays for year late emissions. New tires, oil change. But only one key. Neighbors don't have it. Miraculously that appeared a few weeks later on kitchen counter.
She agrees for me to start that ball rolling, 10 days before my next DSS deadline. My own life, businesses, finances are suffering as I cannot keep up with all of hers, ours, my Dad's issues. I have been so stressed. Multiple trips 1.5 hours one way. To many people have access to her house (me, neighbors, friends, realtor) Things are moved, misplaced, missing, broken. I get blamed for everything. To many cooks in the kitchen.
Get her list of the must haves out of the house. Do it. Not good enough. Stop sale, stop rushing, stop pushing. The deadline to get things done is in 3 days. Not her problem. Right, it's mine.
Spending down her funds, prepaying for storage unit, paying for moving company, paying for clean out and professional cleaning service. Getting the paperwork out within deadlines.
Her friends/neighbors are her home family. Her church family. But they have really caused me a lot of problems. They were opening her mail, didn't have her wallet (months later they sent it to me, with cards I needed) taking things from the house. Couldn't find her most recent tax paperwork, other important papers. The day I had the storage unit filled I came back to house next day to find a manilla envelope on table that wasn't there before. Taxes. With information I have needed for weeks. I was told I misplaced it. Friends are telling her they packed this and that. Good I think I have less to do. Get in house. None was done.
Son of friend was going to take sofa. They Facebook messaged me (not something I check often) when I was sleeping that son no longer wanted it. They didn't call (they have number) they didn't text (ditto) and they didn't email. I saw the message when almost back in town at the storage unit. With movers right behind me. That ship has sailed. Now she wants me to move the sofa. No, I'm not.
I ask them for keys. I demand keys. I tell them Realtor said return keys. Aunt says one thing, they say another. I am so frustrated. I do not want to change the locks, that's another wasted day for me. Going up there takes all my energy. Literally. I have to come home and sleep. I can't handle this and my own responsibilities in the same day.
I have tried to tell her that they are not helping the situation. She doesn't believe me. The things that are still in the house are not things necessary for memories, comfort, life. Unopened boxes of dolls, and decorative plates. I mean unopened shipping boxes that contain these things. Very old dishes, cups, pots, pans. A grill. Yes, these are her things. But they are that, just things. Not sentimental things. I did get all those. I know they are her items, I understand that. I'm planning for her life, her future. She won't be using a grill in a skilled nursing facility.
Final straw was today I was told that friends found the broken cookie jar, and she is upset I didn't tell her. I didn't even notice a cookie jar. I ask where was it, what room. On top of fridge of course. Well I never noticed it, I was in house with movers, nothing broke under my watch. Again, too many cooks in the kitchen. She blew up at me again, stop accusing my friends. OMG, things have gone missing, opened, broken and I am being blamed each time. New lawn mower missing. Battery box for lawn mower is where she said it was, but it's empty. Brand new wheelbarrow she said I could take is now also gone. I was going to take it when we meet the clean out crew tomorrow. Because I've been filling my car every time I'm up there with her items.
Sorry, I am really having a hard time with this.
Oh wait, he is now taking the couch. They will get it out when they are good and ready. FML I had to get it out. Thanks for reading.
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