Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving, Food Prep and a weak moment of resentment

I am thankful that my husband is next to me. I am thankful that we can provide plenty of food for my father (ok, one snarky remark here). I am thankful that I was able to get to the studio today, relieve my co-educators of stress and teach our students who came in. I am thankful that my maternal Grandmother is still here. I am thankful that my sister is still here. I am thankful that I can take my Mother out for a meal tomorrow. I am thankful that my daughter has grown into a beautiful woman. I am thankful that I am still here. I am thankful that I have gotten most of the sides done for our Thanksgiving meal number two (gotta feed Pops!) I am thankful that some of you read this. I am thankful for my friends. Writing this has made me feel more thankful. Amen.

We will be taking my Mother out for dinner tomorrow.  Noon reservations for her, DH, DD and Significant other, and my DS and her husband.  Including me 7 total.   But we still have to take care of Gpa P.  So tonight I have gotten the following prepared:

4 pounds of mushrooms and onions sauteed in butter (extra prepared to be frozen for mushroom soup another day) garlic and a splash of Gravy Master.

Stuffing with sausage, onion, celery, butter (of course!) vegetable broth and bread cubes. 

Pierogies (a throw back to my Italian Great Grandparents who lived in Austria....I grew up hearing a combination of German and Italian)

Potatoes peeled and ready to be boiled for mashed potatoes (for DH)

Turnip peeled and cubes ready to be boiled for mashed turnips (for me!)

Brussel sprouts trimmed and halved, ready to be roasted with garlic, olive oil and bacon.  

Did I mention this is NOT a low fat day?

Vegetable peelings all saved to go into the largest crock pot with the neck to create stock (to be frozen)

We will put the turkey in the oven as we leave to get my Mother.  

Cranberry sauce (whole and jellied) and gravy.  

I also made broccoli rabe and sausage (pre cooked and taken from the freezer) for today's lunch.  

I cooked down two pounds of kale in vegetable stock with garlic.  This was frozen for a future creation of Kale/White Bean/Sausage soup. 

I still have to take the pies out of the freezer, and add some things to the freezer for use on a later day. 

Did I mention the two loads of laundry?

All this as well as billing, studio newsletter, rescheduling other educators students, teaching some of my and some of their students.  I get frustrated with the was truly not bad from the studio south, yet we had a lot of cancellations and no shows.  It was so bad that I suggested one teacher stay home with her kids, no sense her driving in for two students (I actually am the closest to the studio at almost 20 minutes of travel on a dry took 35 minutes not for weather related issues I felt, but holiday is coming issues.) The other educators are at least 30 minutes, some 45 minutes away from home. 

I managed to get a workout in, and some more ribbons cut for some projects.  

I also reminded myself with the openings to today's blog post that I have much to be thankful for.....after having a moment of huge resentment.    I will share it here, and I know it will be considered by some to be petty.  Please know that you don't live in our day to day situation, and things like this happen every day. We provide for 4, sometimes 5 people.  Those that provide seem to never enjoy what we provide.  Sometimes, it just pushes me a bit over the edge. 

We have a family who gifts us their farm raised eggs.  They have given us at least 4 dozen eggs in the last six months.  I have never tasted one.  DH has had one breakfast of them, and I chose to give the two left that time to him as he works hard.  

Gpa Paul ate 8 of the last dozen that I brought home on Friday night.  DD had three (and I do not begrudge her those)  but there is 1 egg left.  And after the weather/studio stress I dealt with I just wanted to cry.  And when I tried to talk to my Dad about it (after DH teased me a bit about being resentful....I stated to him that I was having a resentful moment) he just said but you said they were there, and I didn't eat all of them.  I said to him, but Pops, you seem to forget that there are other people here.  I want you to have some of them, but you always seem to have ALL of them.  I had to get it out, or it would have eaten at me for days.  It won't change this behaviour.  He consumes alot, (and I resent that it doesn't show) He has a problem, he thinks that the food will go bad, and he has to eat it all.  If it's open, he eats it.  We have hidden food, locked up food, marked doesn't matter.  It's part of our daily life.  

When DH and I discussed this, he said to me, then we don't bring so much good food into the house, and you and I will enjoy these good things when we go out. 

Seems extreme to me.  But if that's what we need to start doing, I guess that's what we will do. 

So forgive me my moments of failure, dear reader.  I am just human, and am not always the perfect daughter/wife/mother/teacher I hope to be.    A Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  

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