Saturday, March 15, 2014

A Sad ending to the week

I don't have anything frugal or happy to share except that I salvaged the bones from the beef short ribs and made stock.  Everyone else in the family (including DD boyfriend) enjoyed them.  I wasn't that impressed, but I'm overly picky about meat.  Happy I got 12 quarts of stock.

A dear friend, whose daughter I am especially close to (and who is also a fiddle student) died early Thursday morning.  Though it was expected, it still hurts.  Wake was last night, funeral this afternoon.  I taught around the events.

My DH, who I again say is a Saint, knows me better than I know myself.  He recognized that I was having panic/anxiety attacks when I was just feeling  (so I thought)  exhausted and irritable.  Though I didn't even think I was thinking of my friend, as he spoke to me I realized he was correct.   I'm feeling an empty sadness as I write this.  My chest hurts, aches more for the children and husband left behind, then my own loss.  I loved my friends sassy attitude, even with her devastating diagnosis, she was quick to say FU cancer.  I'm happy that she went quickly, just seven or so months from diagnosis.   I'm happy that she looked semi herself when she died.  I am grateful that my own past illness was caught early and I'm still here.

We didn't send flowers to the funeral home, but instead wrote a check to the Children's fund that was established (three children total).  We sent what we would have spent on the flowers.  I also decided that this wasn't enough, and we agreed I would donate my time from April through August for her lessons as well as her participation in our annual Rock Intensive that this family always looked forward to their daughter participating in.   I will write a note to the family and give it to them on Monday (with a copy to our office manager so she doesn't goof and send them a bill)

I wish I could do more.  I will try to spend girl time with her, when she wants to.  She is starting High School next year.  I made her Mother a promise to always be there for her.  I just don't know what my role is.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

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