Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Frustration




I wanted (needed) to share some food related frustrations.

My Father lives with us.  I grew up hearing stories that my Maternal Grandfather used to say he would rather cloth my father (when my parents were dating) then feed him.  I have learned the hard way what that means.

He binge eats.  He hides what he eats.  Nothing is sacred, nothing can be made to last.  Everything is for him only.  He actually has said how am I supposed to eat all this food....as if no one else lives here.  He has given away bags of food in the past too.

My DD gave me a huge box of Belgian chocolates for Valentines Day.  Not something that I would ever buy for myself, and certainly not something that I would eat in one sitting (or even one month)  When I saw that the contents were going way down (and I had only had two) I threw out the box at the studio and hid the candies in a Ziploc bag.    There were 50 chocolates.  I ate 4.  They are now all gone (DD wanted one and when I went to the hiding place discovered them gone) In my silly brain, these candies should have lasted for 3 or 4 months.  I just asked him if he ate them, and he laughs and says that's why they were there.

Today I did a long overdue shopping trip.  Milk, lots of yogurts, fresh cod, frozen shrimp, goldfish crackers, egg whites, baby wipes, 10 pounds of potatoes, celery, tomatoes, iceburg lettuce, herb spring mix, eggplant cutlets, carrots, and a treat of 9 bagels.  After coupons I spent $129.81.   Yes the shrimp was a splurge too.

There are 3 bagels left.  DH had one, daughter had one, I had one.  Pops ate 3.  This was after he had a bowl of oatmeal covered in maple syrup.  His breakfast bowl is what most of us consider a pyrex MIXING bowl. He also had some leftover stew today for lunch, and for dinner he had Cod, Corn, Rice and tossed salad.

To me, those bagels should have lasted for a few days.  At this rate they will be all gone by tomorrow.

Yes, it's only $3.99.  Yes I can buy more bagels.  Yes, I can afford to buy myself expensive chocolates.  I am just giving you two examples of things that happen every day.  My father sees  food and he has to eat it before it goes bad.  He doesn't consider that there are other people that I provide this food for, and that my wallet is not a bottomless pit.  I would be more patient if he didn't do it with a smug grin on his face.   Sometimes I get so angry at his selfish greed.  There are times he truly doesn't remember he has eaten.  But there are times he is very aware of what he's doing.  I pray for patience.


4 comments:

  1. What does your DH say about this? Does he talk with his Dad about it? It would drive me crazy - not the cost necessarily - but the pure selfishness of the act and self-centered attitude he has. And - I read your other post - the sneakiness and looking for hidden food - which I am guessing was hidden somewhere he shouldn't be. Is there any option for him to live elsewhere (sorry - new to your blog) - maybe an assisted living facility? You are fortunate that the expense can be covered but what if it couldn't?

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  2. hello SAK, and thanks for the support and reading my blog. It's my father. My DH, who grew up with siblings, parents and two sets of grandparents under the same roof grew up this way. I did not. When we bought my grandparents house and added on for my Pops to live with us it was a big return of teen baggage for me. I left when I was 17, and I think Pops thinks I'm still that age. Yes, he is at times very selfish, but as DH says it is what it is. I have been reading CTMOM Ctonabudget and Sluggy (Don't Read this it's Boring) to learn new healthy cooking, frugal living and saving tips. I will try not to vent too much to DH as he gets upset that I'm upset. I do find humour in the situation at times, Pops sure can pack it in!

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  3. You are a way better daughter than I would be! LOL!!! Best of luck with him! Next time DD should just take you out for a treat instead of a big box of chocolates!

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  4. I don't always feel like a good daughter when I complain. But I try. Thanks!

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